THE HUCKSTER

Years ago rode the medicine man,

In a horse drawn wagon full of bottles and cans 

A smooth talkin’ gent with a cure for your ills,

Snake oil, tonic and miracle pills 

 

Chorus

IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE IT’S EASY, 

THERE’S A HUCKSTER SELLING SLEAZY 

HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW,

THE THINGS YOU BUY MAY BRING YOU SORROW

 

Now the wagon’s gone but the con man‘s here, 

He’s on the radio, just a bendin’ your ear 

Sellin’ his wares on the TV set 

Billboards, the papers ‘n’ surfing the Net 

​

Buy a ticket to heaven on Channel 6 

Salvation is yours if you fall for the pitch 

There’s a diet pill to melt away your fat 

Imagine now, it’s a simple as that 

 

Chorus

 

The Huckster offers you sex appeal 

You’re buying it now with every good deal 

And the grand illusion of happiness 

From material things and deeper in debt 

​

Build a beautiful body with a new device 

Needs no effort and a low, low price 

Cream of Olay your wrinkles away 

Youth in a bottle is here to stay 

 

Chorus

 

Bridge

He knows your needs, he knows what you wish,

He’ll help you believe, in a quick fix 

 

“You just massage this offensive smelling grease on your balding head, twice a day for 24 easy-going months. 

The full truckload comes delivered complete with three tail combs for just $899.99 (taxes not included).

It’s new and improved, guaranteed a good deal, and it’s on sale.”

 

Chorus / Bridge