THE HUCKSTER
Years ago rode the medicine man,
In a horse drawn wagon full of bottles and cans
A smooth talkin’ gent with a cure for your ills,
Snake oil, tonic and miracle pills
Chorus
IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE IT’S EASY,
THERE’S A HUCKSTER SELLING SLEAZY
HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW,
THE THINGS YOU BUY MAY BRING YOU SORROW
Now the wagon’s gone but the con man‘s here,
He’s on the radio, just a bendin’ your ear
Sellin’ his wares on the TV set
Billboards, the papers ‘n’ surfing the Net
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Buy a ticket to heaven on Channel 6
Salvation is yours if you fall for the pitch
There’s a diet pill to melt away your fat
Imagine now, it’s a simple as that
Chorus
The Huckster offers you sex appeal
You’re buying it now with every good deal
And the grand illusion of happiness
From material things and deeper in debt
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Build a beautiful body with a new device
Needs no effort and a low, low price
Cream of Olay your wrinkles away
Youth in a bottle is here to stay
Chorus
Bridge
He knows your needs, he knows what you wish,
He’ll help you believe, in a quick fix
“You just massage this offensive smelling grease on your balding head, twice a day for 24 easy-going months.
The full truckload comes delivered complete with three tail combs for just $899.99 (taxes not included).
It’s new and improved, guaranteed a good deal, and it’s on sale.”
Chorus / Bridge